What are your thoughts?

Then I realised how much I’ve changed; my character, my temper, my patience. For one.

It really sucks being in such situation. Something I really dislike: Ambiguity.

‘Cause of different perspectives. I tried to be understanding, I tried to view it from your side. But this is something I can’t compromise. It troubles and confuses me, what’s the current status or rather, what’s my current status? Many would wonder if the status is really that important. It is, when you cherish the other one and wouldn’t want the other party to live in ambiguity whenever anybody enquires. I really have no idea how to answer. Yes, there’s no need to answer to anybody and yes it is good live within the bubble. But it gets annoying whenever your closed ones ask about your relationship life. I feel restricted to share because I thought of you, I’m afraid you would want to keep it within us.

Why would one not want to show? Nobody is asking for displaying public affection all over on social medias. The least you could do is not deny, not afraid to show. Afraid of rumours? But what rumours are there?

Such situation, honestly it’s worse than being single.

I was looking at my photo albums. Oh god, how I miss traveling in Europe and UK. Every city looks different, offers a different vibe and has different danger too. But I guess the fun part is the unfamiliarity, where street names look strange. It’s also where I rely on google maps so often, even without network. The entire experience is just amazingggggg! 

Not forgetting an awesome travel buddy too. It’s difficult to compromise things, it’s even more difficult to find someone who can compromise. 

I miss traveling. I miss traveling with you, where nobody recognize us and we could do stupid stuff together. Best moments. 

Last week. 

Feeling so insecure at this point in time. No idea how it escalated, but seems to be getting worse 😦

Did that conversation cause this? Idk, feeling so confused and yet not knowing how to express myself. The only thing is not to think so much, but it’s fucking difficult. 

Maybe time is up. Or maybe my brain over estimated itself Fml.

I’m just hoping that I get busy with work and my final assignment next week. And also, stuff to settle for Japan like my damn visa. 

The Art of Getting By

Since the dawn of recorded history, something like 110 billion human beings have been born into this world.

And not a single one of them made it. There are 6.8 billion people on the planet. Roughly 60 million of them die every year. 60 million people. That comes out to about 160,000 per day.

I read this quote when I was a kid, “We live alone, we die alone. Everything else is just an illusion.” It used to keep me up at night. We all die alone. So, why am I supposed to spend my life working, sweating, struggling? For an illusion? Because no amount of friends, no girl, no assignments about conjugating the pluperfect or determining the square root of the hypotenuse is gonna help me avoid my fate.

I have better things to do with my time.

– The Art of Getting By